Finding community is hard (Erin Jean Warde)

I hope you'll join me in the community I'm launching next week: Chaos Land with EJW. Because I’d love to get to know you and your chaos, and welcome you into mine. <3

I went to Cheekwood Botanical Garden yesterday, here in Nashville, and they have this adorable exhibit of trolls, by Thomas Dambo. I just love them!

Finding community is hard

Hello friends,

I’m going to be blunt — finding community can be really, really hard. One of my very favorite Christian jokes is simply: “the real miracle was Jesus having 12 close friends in his thirties.” As a single 37 year old woman, this is not just a joke, but gospel truth. And the thing is, I have plenty of friends! But I struggle with the whole… community thing. It makes me wonder: What’s the difference between friendship and community? Why do I have people, but still feel alone?

This summer I joined “summer camp,” led by the incredible Kearstin Bailey, which has consisted of weeks of hopping online to chat with a group of friends I now feel so, so close to, BUT they each started as perfect strangers in squares on my screen. I bonded with these new friends, and FAST. We have group chats where we hurl things into the main, to receive love, compassion, and maybe most importantly: laughter, in return. I didn’t realize how much I needed this community until I had it, and it has made me not only want more of that, but it has made me want to steward my very own community.

When I first embarked on this whole entrepreneurial journey, I read tons of marketing blogs that all said: niche down, niche down, niche down. But… it turns out I don’t niche down well! I have lots of things I’d like to talk about, lots of spaces I’d like to hold, lots of different complexities and realities of life that I like to inhabit. So, I’ve struggled with the idea of having a community, because I didn’t know how to niche down, or I did niche down and it didn’t reach critical mass.

A sampling of my personal chaos right now:

• I am reading Barbara Brown Taylor’s An Altar in the World (so good!)

• I’m planning to start the Percy Jackson series soon, because I’m hoping it will hold my attention?? (ADHD is something else)

• I just joined Faith Adjacent and I’m falling down the wormhole of their work, which is amazing (highly recommend)

• I’m obsessed with Big Brother (I’m shocked too lol)

• Did you know I’m also obsessed with Survivor? Well a new season starts in September…

• I’m walking more, trying to find more wooded areas, and I’m doing a quick camping trip next week

• I’m still building my autumn movie watching list because I’m so ready for fall lol

• I have 3 cats who are hilarious (but y’all probably knew that honestly)

• I’m finally coming out of the darkest depression that hit me after losing my sister, like I can feel the lift, though I’m still navigating the grief, because grief over the death of someone we love is a lifelong pain

• I’m slowly but surely thrifting my way into a good autumnal wardrobe (did you know I love fashion and thrifting?)

I say this to say: I have a lot of complexities. But I think you probably do too? So I’m going to ignore all the marketing blogs and refuse to niche down. I’m opening up a community for… all of the chaos. Yours and mine.

Chaos Land with EJW opens up next week. And it’s Chaos Land, because it’s a place where we love you for your chaos, not despite it.

Because your chaos is real. It is your life. It is my life, too. It makes us who we are — and yet, no matter your chaos, you might still need to be grounded amidst it, which is why we turn to community.

We also might love our chaos — chaos can be fun! — so we get to celebrate our chaos, too. We get to honor the complexities of who we are, mind, body, and soul. Some of that will be fun, some of that will be hard, some of that will need grounding, and some of our chaos might even be invitational. What if we embraced it? Or at least leaned into it?

What if embracing our chaos within community helped us navigate it better than thinking we could “fix it”?

What if you could hurl things into the main, to receive love, compassion, and maybe most importantly: laughter, in return?

And there’s a big reason I’m doing this, aside from just being a person who loves having community: Sometimes I’ll meet people and they’ll say, “I love your newsletter!” but I don’t know who they are. It grieves me. I’d like to know who y’all are, IF you’d like to be known. (I also get that some of us love to just quietly hang out, which is forever welcomed, too!). So I won’t quit this Substack. I love it here! If you just want to stay here and receive my writings, please do! I’ll keep writing. :)

But if you’d like to get to know me in a different way, and get to know one another, I’d love to welcome you next week to Chaos Land with EJW. Here’s the plan for the first few months, so far:

SEPTEMBER CHAOS

• getting to know each other through posts & convos in the community

• setting up 1:1’s via Zoom with anyone in the community who would like to chat with me!

• learning from y’all about any special topics you’d love to explore

OCTOBER CHAOS

• launch at least 2 live calls per month

• start book club!

• continue getting to know one another through posts & convos in the community

LONG TERM CHAOS

• watching movies together online with anyone who wants to (have you ever done that? it’s super fun!)

• a mix of social calls & deeper calls (will add new calls as the community grows)

• holding space for one another during difficult times & having a place to celebrate your big wins

• us sharing our hobbies because it’s hard to find hobbies & I love hearing everyone else’s because it inspires me

• craft night???

• Q&A calls so you can ask questions & get insight from me & everybody else about what’s going on in your chaos

• online chaos retreats??

• possibly some monthly focus type programming if the opportunity arises?

If any of this sounds interesting to you, please stay tuned! I am deciding which platform to go with and getting it all set up this week, so I can share a sign up link next week or sooner if I have it.

Because I’d love to get to know you and your chaos, and welcome you into mine. <3

Love y’all,
EJW

PS: This community will have a very low price, but I don’t know the price exactly yet because I am still picking a platform. That said, if you’re a paid subscriber here, I will add you to the community for free, and vice versa, as long as I have your consent to do so. If you are supporting my work through Substack or the community, I’d like you to have access to both if you want that, period. <3

Coaching

As the new academic year starts, there’s just a LOT going on, a marked uptick after what might have felt like relaxing summer months. If you’re moving into this fall semester and hoping to change your relationship with alcohol, I’d love to work with you as your recovery coach. This is for anyone who wants to change their relationship with alcohol, whether that’s cutting back, quitting completely, or maintaining sobriety.

Spiritual Direction

If you’re seeking long term spiritual support, I’d love to hold space for you as your spiritual director. Supporting people in their spiritual lives is one of the deep joys of my life. I have supported people spiritually through deconstruction, daily life, seminary, grief, the big questions of life, the ordination process, sobriety, and more. I’m also LGBTQIA+ inclusive. If you’re hoping for a companion along the way, I’d love to be a companion to you, as your spiritual director.

And, if you sign up for a package between now and September 6, you’ll get 5 sessions in your package instead of 4. My way of trying to help you kick start this academic year with some support!

And if you have ANY questions about my offerings, please just reply, I’d love to hear from you! I’d like to figure out a way to remove barriers as much as I can, so don’t be afraid to reach out. <3