healing moment: lower the bar (erin jean warde)
Feel like your goals are so big they are impossible? Lower the bar.
lower the bar
Sometimes I set goals for myself that I do not keep. What I have tried to embrace — and what I teach with my clients! — is that not achieving a goal often means the goal is the problem. Not you.
So, when you are thinking about setting goals for yourself, it’s vitally important that you lower the bar.
An example I often use in my coaching practice is: If my goal is to read War and Peace today, I’m definitely going to get to the end of the day without achieving my goal. It might actually feel so big that I don’t read anything at all, because if I know I’m going to fail, why bother?
However, what I can do is lower the bar — I can set a goal to read 10 pages, because honestly, that’s something I could possibly do.
Setting a goal you will never achieve does not help you, as it is demotivational. You feel like a failure over and over again.
Setting an achievable goal helps you move forward, because you’ll begin to hit your goals — this is motivational, and can help you stay on track.
So, as you look into any hopes you have for yourself, remember that it is good to set achievable goals, because as you hit them, you’ll feel motivated to continue caring for yourself. If you set a goal don’t hit it, lower the bar. <3
This weekly post provides practical insight into recovery, sobriety, changing how we cope, connecting with our minds, bodies, and souls, and more. It could be any of the following: quote, podcast rec, coaching technique, or something else completely. This is a form of free support for you, dear friends! I hope this gives you even more care. <3
gather the inklings is a reader-supported community. subscribe for this free weekly newsletter, weekly book club reflections for paid subscribers, and occasional announcements about my work!