healing moment: routines can be easy (erin jean warde)
What if shifting your mornings (or other routine) is less about adding more & instead about releasing something so you have the freedom to notice how your care practices are actually caring for you?
healing moment: routines can be easy
Okay, I’m not actually saying routines are easy (because, have we met?) but they might not have to be as difficult as I have made them out to be.
I showed up to spiritual direction yesterday with a very specific request — I needed to talk through some morning and evening routines that could help me begin and end the day. I knew I really, really needed these anchors, but they also felt near impossible. Between grief, starting new meds, stress, and ADHD, I was stuck in the place of knowing I needed the routines, but being incapacitated by the idea of starting them.
I started by verbally processing myself into naming the biggest barrier to me feeling like I had a good start to the day: my phone.
Then, I verbally processed through what I needed. I need to: wake up gently, brush my teeth, do my skincare, eat a breakfast with some protein, have my coffee, say my prayers, bathe, get dressed.
Interestingly enough, I’d later come to the conclusion that I actually do most of these things every morning. So what was so different?
A few things:
I was doing these things with my attention split between task and phone.
I was losing track of time, so I’d do one of these things, fall into a phone hole, come up for air and do another, etc.
It feels weird to say that this morning I started a “new morning routine” when I did all the same stuff I do every morning. But it felt new, because of one important shift.
I knocked out the above list — wake up gently, brush my teeth, do my skincare, eat a breakfast with some protein, have my coffee, say my prayers, bathe, get dressed — within the first 1.5 hours of waking up, and without my phone. I woke up to my alarm clock that mimics the sun rising, and the audio part of the alarm is set to birds chirping. I drank my coffee on the patio, so my body could receive the first rays of sun, signaling the start of another day in the ancient way bodies were first taught to know a new day had come.
(There is also lots of research about a slower way to wake up — changing how we receive dopamine at the beginning of the day — but I won’t bore you. Suffice to say: this isn’t just a fun idea I had, this is science I’ve long heard but struggled to practice.)
You might be struggling with your own morning routines. You might be trying to figure out what “new” things you need to try. And you, too, might feel incapacitated by the idea of starting “a whole new thing.”
But what if this calling to a new routine is not so much a change in what you’re doing, but a request from your body and soul that you pay attention to each day’s beginning in a way you haven’t before? What if shifting your mornings (or other routine) is less about adding more, and instead about releasing something, so you have the freedom to notice how your care practices are actually caring for you?
This may not be true for you — you might truly be yearning for a radical change in how you wake up — so I honor that. But paying attention is a radical act too.
May you be given the space in heart and soul to care for yourself, and through noticing, truly receive the power of your care.
With love & care,
EJW
Hey y’all, this event was moved! I hope you’ll join me and the Stevenson School for Ministry on April 26th from 7:00-8:30EST!
This workshop will explore the importance of hospitality in Christianity, name the current challenge our culture faces with alcohol, and talk through fun and thoughtful ways churches can grow in showing compassion toward those who don't drink. Churches growing in hospitality to sober people serves not just to change our churches for the better, but to grow them, as churches can become safe places for sober visitors and their friends.
This workshop will meet for 90-minutes on Zoom. The Rev. Warde will share her experience and offer resources. The content presentation will be recorded. A brief question time will also be included at the end and will not be recorded for distribution.
The cost of this workshop offsets the operating costs of the Stevenson School for Ministry. SSFM is dedicated to the lifelong learning and discernment processes of all Episcopalians in the Diocese of Central Pennsylvania and beyond. This workshop has a price tier option. Whether a complimentary ticket, $15, or $30 fee fits your life - everyone will receive the same experience.
For questions contact ssfm@diocesecpa.org.
Waco friends, come hang out with me May 3 at 7:00PM at St. Alban’s! I’m really excited to be talking about my new book and seeing friends, both old and new. There will be books available for sale if you don’t have your copy yet and would like to get one!