Managing Summer Expectations (Erin Jean Warde)

I find myself feeling so scarce about the summer, fearful it will slip away from me without delivering on all the promises of rest and vacation it never made.

I was out of the office last week, because I was in Louisville, KY for the 81st General Convention for the Episcopal Church! I was there to promote the podcast I’m hosting from United Thank Offering (more info below!) so I thought I’d come back with some “proof,” lol. <3

Managing Summer Expectations

Hello friends,

I cannot believe I am writing to you in the month of July. I’m so shocked, I originally typed “June,” lol. If you really asked me, I’d tell you it is… what, April?

And to be honest, I’m actually kinda struggling with it being July. I’m naturally pivoted toward a bit of a “scarcity mindset,” and how I understand time is a huge part of my feeling of scarcity, generally speaking, and also now. I feel like the summer of my wildest dreams is halfway gone.

But it hasn’t even been the summer of my wildest dreams. No, it’s actually been… incredibly stressful. And yet, it has held both beauty and stress in conversation with each other, though I could have benefitted from more of the beauty and less of the stress.

I think summer is uniquely hard, because I go into it as if it will hold some sort of expansiveness that the other seasons can’t even fathom. Of course, this is a silly expectation for me to hold, as someone who does not get any sort of “summer break” or sabbatical. No, of course this season wasn’t going to be more expansive — it’s full of the same day to day activities that wait for me each day during spring, fall, and winter.

So I find myself feeling so scarce about the summer, fearful it will slip away from me without delivering on all the promises of rest and vacation it never made. Typically when this happens, I know it’s time to manage my expectations. (I hate managing my expectations, but it turns out this helps me lose some of my disappointment, so fine, I’ll do it, lol.)

Yes, I must release all the promises of rest and vacation the summer never made.
I must release the Instagram photos of everyone else’s vacations.
I must release all the messages telling me this summer has to be special, dangit.

I know part of this is coming from the deep, deep chasm of burnout I’ve been trying to navigate this year, stemming from grief, moving, financial challenges, professional changes, and more. It isn’t that I’m not allowed to yearn for rest, for vacation, for time to relax—because those are all very normal and understandable to yearn for—but that I will live in a hole of despair if I don’t manage my expectations. I will fall into complete and utter depression if I don’t bring to mind all the beauty that, against all odds, has remained in conversation with my stress.

You can go on a vacation in the fall.
You can go to the beach next year.
You have spent more days at the pool this summer than ever before in your life.
You have enjoyed the spring & summer gift of bunnies.
Your walks have started to heal you.
You saw some of your favorite people at General Convention.
You have been welcomed into a new online community for “summer camp.”
You are praying through the process of creating a rule of life.

None of these say, “you went to a resort and threw your phone in the ocean,” but this is still rest. This is still joy. This is still healing. This is still blessing. This is still reaching into the deep, deep chasm of burnout to offer a light where I could not before see a way out.

I don’t know what your summer has been like, but I pray that you can receive whatever rest is available to you. And if you’re feeling a little scarce, a little let down by your expectations, may we both remember God’s mercies new every morning, how they wait for us with the hope we need to make it through the days we’re given.

Sending y’all my love & gratitude,
EJW

Check out the podcast! We will have new episodes mid-July starting, and in the meantime, we have a teaser & episode 1 ready to go!

Each week, Rev. Erin Jean explores the messages of gratitude and good news we find in scripture, the world around us, the wisdom of special guests, and through our own spiritual practice. In a struggling and stressful world, it can feel like we need hope to make it through the day, and a reminder of the goodness and blessing that remain around us, even during challenging seasons. Now streaming on your favorite podcasting app!