the mechanics of hope (erin jean warde)
I can only hope in a way that is desperate and searching, which means I need practical ways to receive the hope that becomes my daily bread. These are what I’ve begun to call the mechanics of hope.
the mechanics of hope
I like to think of myself as a hopeful person, but I don’t say that in a virtuous way, like I am just… teeming with hope. No, I say this with a bit of desperation in the back of my voice. I’m a hopeful person, because I don’t know how else to be in this world, but I wouldn’t say this hope comes easy. Because when has hope ever come easy?
I can find myself so quickly in the Pit, shrinking away from my courage and toward the caves of despair. Inside this despair, no light can enter.
I remember many years ago, all the way back to undergrad, when we would talk in my literature and creative writing classes, about horror. I learned then why so many writers and filmmakers don’t show you the ghoul, the force, the monster that creeps — because when you can’t see the fictional monster, you will the void with the factual monsters of your life. And with no vision of the monster to scale, you will always imagine it as so big it would surely overtake you. When the monster is left to our own devices, we will always construct it to be so threatening that it can destroy us.
When I am in the Pit, when I have slouched away from my courage and toward the caves of despair, no light can enter. I can see nothing. The unseen fictional monster is quickly replaced by the factual monster of my life. But with no light to show me the truth of my life’s scale, I always imagine it as being so big it overtakes me. When I am in the Pit, the monster is left to my own devices and I forget what I know of the faithfulness of God, so I make a monster hell bent on destroying me.
In these Pit moments, I need hope. I need hope, because it interrupts the darkness, it reveals the monster to be not a monster at all, but the mundane — the reality of being human, the struggles I do not face alone, opportunities to trust, invitations to ask for help, an experience of pain that Christ felt in order to relieve.
But again — I do not say this in a virtuous way, like I am somehow teeming with hope. No, there is a desperation in the back of my hopeful voice, an urgency when I try to take scripture up on its bold proclamation that hope does not disappoint.
So I can only hope in a way that is desperate and searching, which means I need practical ways to receive the hope that becomes my daily bread. These are what I’ve begun to call the mechanics of hope.
I need prayers, so I am reminded how much God loves me when I forget.
I need rest on the calendar, so I have something to look forward to when my labor feels exhausting.
I need plans to see a friend, so I know there is an end to my loneliness.
I need words of inspiration, so I remember all the hate speech in the world doesn’t have the final say.
I need to help someone, so I remember I am precious and worthy to be helped just the same.
I wonder: How might you gather up the mechanics of hope to support you when you struggle? I think we all need them; I know I do.
Because we all find ourselves in the Pit, in the sheer horror of it all. But, when you are there, try to remember: The monster is mundane, and hope is on its way to reveal and weaken what ensnares you, because there is no Pit where God can’t find you to save you.
With love & care,
EJW
let’s get Sober Spirituality up to 100 reviews!
I learned this week that 100 reviews on Amazon boosts author visibility!
If you’ve read Sober Spirituality, please do me the huge honor of reviewing it on Amazon! You do not even have to order it from Amazon to leave a review there. Positive Amazon reviews are a huge support to me!
Right now we are at 14… can we get to 100?! Thanks y’all!
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United Thank Offering Webinar: Gratitude + Mental Health
Join me TOMORROW, WEDNESDAY — May 17 at 12:00pm ET — alongside The Rev. Sarah Ciavarri, The Rev. Dr. Marta Illueca, and UTO Board President Sherri Dietrich — as we discuss the importance of gratitude and mental health and share their knowledge of how gratitude affects mental health in hospitals, in addiction recovery, in senior care facilities, and in individuals engaging in coaching, leadership development, or spiritual direction. This webinar is free and I hope you’ll come!
recovery coaching
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Recovery coaching provides empathy, practical support, and encouragement as you change your relationship with alcohol or quit drinking. We dig into what is motivational and demotivational for you, so I can help you stay motivated along the path. We will focus on setting achievable goals, removing failure as an option, accountability, recovery techniques, and more to help you change your relationship with alcohol.
Coaching with me means crafting a journey that is unique to you and your life, because the only way we can change our drinking is through support that is unique to our real lives! Sign up today or reach out with questions below. :)
speaking
Are you interested in exploring my work in depth in your community? Looking for a speaker who focuses on wellness and spirituality? If so, I would love to explore the possibility of me speaking at your event!