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it’s all connected

For the past few weeks, I have been going through it. The normal pains of grief aside, I got a brand new car with only eight (8!) miles on it, and within the first 3 weeks I had exceed 2,500 miles of driving. Texas to Alabama, Alabama to Florida, Florida to Alabama, Alabama back to Texas. And there’s more travel to come, as I will travel next week, then have 2 major trips (one by car, one by plane) in February. I still haven’t gotten my sleep schedule back since the day I got the news; I continue to get bursts of sleep in 3 hour packages. After the grief began, I barely ate for 48 hours, and my appetite hasn’t become consistent or reasonable yet, even though next week it will be a month since I lost my appetite to begin with.

So, with cedar in Texas raging, it’s no surprise that I started to get a frustrating tickle in my ears, nose, and throat last Thursday, which became the first time I’ve had a cold in 4 years. And when I say I got a cold, I mean I got a cold. With the exception of trips to the kitchen, bathroom, and grocery pick up, I didn’t get out of bed Friday, Saturday, or Sunday. This cold has truly taken everything out of me.

And of course it has. It’s all connected. I have been the supporting person so many times, reminding others that our minds, bodies, and souls are connected, so when we need rest in any area of ourselves, we need rest in every area of ourselves. But, when it came to me, I was shocked that the same rules applied. 🙃

I have worked since Monday, but when I’m not working, I’m going back to bed. This is the critical point, because now is the point when I feel good enough to return to business as usual, but in the deepest wisdom of myself I also know that if I push myself now, the cold will drag on longer.

So, when I finish this newsletter, I am putting on my pajamas (around noon!) and going back to bed. I might not sleep, but I will lie down. I will watch tv, try to let myself drift off to sleep, maybe read, snuggle with my cats, drink tea. Even just not being upright, not writing, not answering emails, not planning for a project — even just not doing these things for a little while longer will give my mind, body, and soul the space to heal.

It is no surprise to me that grief brings illness, because is there any deeper illness than loving someone we love and see no longer?

Now, my task — and what I encourage you toward, too — is to remember it’s all connected. Healing from this cold and healing from this grief will require rest in all the different facets of my ache: the ache of my mind, the ache of my heart, and the ache of my soul.

May we be gracious enough to see that when we need rest in any area of ourselves, we need rest in every area of ourselves. May we rest and heal.

With love,
EJW

Join me and my friend The Rev. Arianne Rice January 19 at 6:30pm EST/5:30pm CST for How We Cope: Resolutions in Dry January, a FREE virtual event hosted by Episcopal Church of the Good Shepherd-Baltimore!

Join this workshop to explore coping skills, removing shame from how we cope, stories of sober discernment, and spiritual practices to support you as you hold the question: How do I want to be in relationship with alcohol? This workshop is for anyone who is sober curious, or who hopes to explore changing how they cope. Both Arianne and Erin are trained as Certified Daring Way Facilitators, so the whole of this work is defined by reducing shame and embracing wholeheartedness. This event is free, with the opportunity to make an optional donation to Erin Jean Warde via Venmo (@erinjeanwarde). Set aside this time as an opportunity to care for yourself in the comfort of your home.

After registering, you will receive a confirmation email containing information about joining the meeting. We hope to see you there!

REGISTER FOR THIS EVENT

gather the inklings

healing moment: it's all connected (erin jean…